So Phantom Pain is another addition to the series with 'Tactical Espionage Operations' awkwardly stapled on as the sub-subtitle rather than ' Tactical Espionage Action', because there's a base management element.

But now he's wearing a Lone Ranger mask too, 'cause he didn't want people thinking the skull face was his only thing. (Has the magic hammer turned up yet? I'm starting to think this sounds weird!) But he escapes and sets about getting his private army back together while pursuing revenge against the villainous Skullface, who you'll remember is the guy with a skull face. He wakes up from a coma nine years later just as the forces of the evil Cipher track him down and send a man made of fire and a ghost toddler to blow him up. So let's just say that at the end of Ground Zeroes, Naked Big Snake Boss Man or whatever his name is got blown apart by the amazing exploding vagina. So I'd normally recap the plot of the Metal Gear Solid series at this point, but sadly I've mislaid my magic hammer with which I would normally beat myself about the head eight or nine times before I made the attempt. I know you're the director, Hideo there's a mentally damaged woman over there with her tits hanging out, of course it's by you. Christ knows why every individual mission has to have its own credit sequence unless Hideo's worried we've all got short-term memory loss. We'd much rather stick our feet up our arse and bounce down the stairs making burbling noises with our lips! BBBBBBBB.'Īlthough Phantom Pain doesn't seem to have gotten the memo, 'cause Hideo Kojima's name is all over it, to a frankly quite psychotic degree. We like pachinko machines, 'cause it's nice to have something around that has some fucking balls! Also, fuck off, Hideo Kojima, you're too reliably bankable for our liking. 'Sorry we had to cancel Silent Hills but we kind of lost our interest in it around the same time we lost our fucking miiiiiinds! Here, have a pachinko machine instead. Because of course, Konami recently decided they're going to take everything they've built over the years as a game developer, arrange it nicely in front of them and then pick up a big hammer and smash and smash and smash and smash and smash. Hideo 'Sure I know what tone is it's the sound made by the little bell that the nice men in white coats say I have to wear' Kojima). I think it's fair to say that all bets were right the fuck off when it came to The Phantom Pain, even more than they usually are with Hideo Kojima (a.k.a. This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.

Yahtzee metal gear solid v review